I think one of the scariest things to hear a child say to you is "Why did God let that happen?". It's a question that makes parents and kids ministry leaders nervous. And, I think some of that nervousness, if we were really honest, comes from us deep down thinking and wondering the same thing ourselves. Why...why, did God let this happen.
In our little Pennsylvania area, we are asking that question a lot in the past 2 weeks. Several situations have hit our church and community rather hard. Things that make us grieve deeply and ask hard questions. Things that make us hug our children
a little closer tonight before bedtimes.
So, how do we as parents and kids ministry leaders answer this question? How do we help kids deal with grief and loss? How do we help them to understand and work through their feelings?
I think the first place to begin is we, ourselves, being in close contact with God. Being in prayer and searching the Bible for comfort from Him. I don't think we can answer kid's questions about such a deep emotional subject without God's help.
Kids need to feel safe when they are grieving. They need to understand that it's ok to feel angry and sad- that these are normal emotions to go through. And, I think they need to understand that questioning is not wrong. So many times people think that questioning God is wrong, when in the Bible, many of who we think of as heroes of the faith, questioned God! There is a difference between questioning and blaming or accusing God of wrongdoing. Questioning God opens us up to answers that God long to give, comfort that He wants us to have.
Questioning opens the communication lines with God.
So, why did God do this? How do we answer that?
First, it's important to understand that God didn't "do" this to someone. Bad things happen in our world because this world is not perfect-sin entered our world many years ago. Therefore, bad things will happen. Second, God loves us so very much and does not seek to harm us. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God loves us and has a plan for our lives. And that's the hard thing to understand-we don't get to see the ultimate plan. We only see a little section of what's happening....what's right in front of us. God sees the whole picture. When bad things happen, we don't always get to see the "good" right away, we are too much in the middle of the hurting. But, God promises in Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." And third, remind that child that if the person they are grieving loved Jesus, that they are with Him right now! This concept is hard enough for us as adults to understand and it's difficult for kids to grasp Heaven. Heaven is a place we've never seen, that the Bible says is better than anything we know, which makes it so "out there" that it's difficult to understand just how amazing being there will be.
That being in Heaven, for the person who has gone, is the best,
most amazingly fabulous thing that has EVER happened to them!
They are with JESUS.
So, maybe when a child asks "Why did God let this happen?", maybe the best thing is to turn this around to them..."What kind of good do you think God could bring out of this?" Let them think about that, help them to think about the situation from a broader view. And, point kids to God. I started this "thought" this morning with the understanding that we need to be connected to God. Point kids back to that, ask them who they would like to pray for, and let them know that praying for their own understanding and their own hurting heart, is ok. God loves them and understands their feelings of hurt. Pray with them, pray for them. Keep the lines of communication open. Let them talk, let them be angry and hurt, remind them that God loves them.
I don't think there's a magical answer to the "why things happen" question. But, I do believe there is a God who cares beyond what we can even understand, cares about our grief, cares about our hurt.
1 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
